Fitting a Square Peg in a Round Hole

I don’t know about you, but when I invest in something or someone, I want a return. I want to make it work. That is energy spent – energy that I will never get back, and I want to make it count!

And, so, I pour myself wholeheartedly into making a project work, so much so that sometimes I lose sight that I no longer want it.

I get so caught up in fitting a square peg in a round hole that I become blinded to how miserable I’ve become in trying to get something to work.

As fighters, we can adopt a one track mind that will lead us to the end result that we’re seeking.

Sure, being ambitious and working for what you want has many rewards; it’s a good characteristic to own.

Yet, the potential downfall of this mentality is the danger of not taking a breather to evaluate, as time has passed and we know more about our investment,  if the investment is still a right fit for us.

When we skip this evaluation step, we may end up working our butts off for something that we no longer even want.

And, why do we continue working towards something that we no longer want? Because we’ve invested, because of stubbornness, because we want to see something through, because we don’t want to hurt or let others down, because we don’t want to have to start over, because we don’t want to fail…

I’m not knocking down working for what you want – anything worth having takes hard work and dedication; I’m discouraging you from continuing to work for something that you have stopped wanting.

It is perfectly fine to give your time and energy and sometimes even your heart to something and then quit when you realize it isn’t working. It takes courage to start over again.

There is abundant pressure not to be a “quitter,” not to give up, not to “fail.” Sometimes we need to hear that it’s okay to change our minds. When we are no longer satisfied, when we find ourselves miserable, when our needs change, when we can no longer give, it is okay to walk away.

It is challenging to find yourself in a place where you’ve made progress, perhaps kicking and screaming, and still find validation that it’s acceptable to walk away, despite the progress. It is tempting to stick with the investment when you look at how far you’ve come.

It’s like reading a book that you hate. Once you’ve read the first 100 pages of the book, it’s difficult to put it down and walk away because hey, you’ve started it already, so you might as well finish it, even if you find the writing to be atrocious and the story line to be a complete bore.

We spent time reading those first 100 pages, and we want the time spent to matter, not be pointless.

The reality is that energy and time dedicated to an investment that provides us with the knowledge of what we don’t want, when it clarifies what brings us dissatisfaction, that is never time wasted.

When we become more aware of ourselves, of our needs, of our boundaries, how can we complain that we put in all that work for nothing? Isn’t becoming a more aware you, after all, everything?

I encourage you to put down the book that you’re hating right now. Move on to something more fitting for you.

There is only strength, not shame, in walking away from something that you tried and discovered is not for you.

The real waste is not in walking away, but rather in continuing to try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Stop spinning your wheels, and go find the right investment for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Fitting a Square Peg in a Round Hole”

  1. It’s funny, but I never had that problem with books at all. If it sucks, I stop reading. Now in real life, yeah … I’ve been trying the square peg round hole thing. I think most of us have. Sometimes you just don’t even hear that small voice trying to tell you it really actually sucks.

    Great article 🙂

    Alex – Funky Jungle

    1. Thanks, Alex! I used to have the book problem, but have actually gotten pretty good about walking away from ones that I don’t like…still working on the real life scenarios as well. 🙂

  2. This is great! I especially connect with the book comparison. I’ve finished a lot of really bad books, lol. I’m finally at the point that I can just put it down now though. It’s a good reminder for the rest of our lives as well.

  3. Wow Erica! I really needed to read this right now! I totally feel like I am in one of those situations where you’ve invested so much it feels like a waste to quit. You’re so right when you say I just need to “put down the book” and move on to something else. It’s not time wasted because I learned it was something that wasn’t good for me, and that’s a positive!

    Thanks a million! Have a great one, and hope you can put that book down too!

    1. I’m glad that it spoke to you, Jenn! Yes, you are definitely a courageous fighter who has it in her to start again on something that will bring you more satisfaction!

Penny for your Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s